Tuesday, October 07, 2014

Saying Goodbye

 Even though my mom has been declining for a long time, the time to say good-bye came too quickly and surprised us all in a way.

this is my mom's youngest grandson hanging out with her a week before she died
 I'd been to visit my mom on Monday and Tuesday and she seemed to be the same as usual.  She told the nurse about some dreams she'd had about checking food in their freezer and checking the food storage room.  Her nurse suggested that it was mom feeling like she needed to be prepared to leave us and have everything in order.  That made me ask mom about her obituary and she said Dad had written it but she felt like it was too long.  I read it out loud and ended up in tears. It was a very beautiful tribute to my mom.
I didn't make it over again until Saturday.  I was actually on my way but had to stop at the store first. While I was there my dad called and said that we should all be coming over. He'd called the nurse because he was concerned that he and the aide couldn't wake up mom or get her to eat.  The nurse, Julie, came and checked on mom and felt like this was the end and that she probably only had a couple of days left with us. This was shocking to hear really.
I got to the house first and then the rest of my siblings with their families got there too.  It was a very special evening with most of us gathered in my mom's room.

Jared saying good-bye to his grandma

Kamryn saying good-bye
My mom was awake and talked to most of her grandkids that night.  She spoke very softly and sometimes it was hard to understand what she was saying but she was definitely aware of all of us there. She would doze off and then when she would wake up she would be a little shocked to see all of us in her room.

Taking turns with our mom and talking to her, savoring those last few precious moments with her.

Justin found the coolest spot in the room - by the vents in the bathroom :)

Saturday night was a very special night for our family.  All of her sons, sons-in-law, Justin and my dad were able to give her a priesthood blessing of peace and comfort.  Paul and Amy stayed the night. Early Sunday morning I went over to check on her and she had a somewhat peaceful night.  She seemed stable so I went to sacrament meeting and so did my dad.  Susan and Holly came and spent the day.  We had more family there most of the day.  We even had the nurse and our friend who is a doctor come and check on her sometime during the day.  They weren't sure how long she had left but it wasn't more than a day or two.

Parry's family was the last ones there Sunday evening.  My mom looked at their kids and spoke with them.  It was my turn to spend the night.  My sisters felt like mom would make it through the night and felt okay about going home.

During the night I slept in my mom's room and actually got a few hours of sleep.  She had very labored breathing that was hard to listen to.
First thing in the morning the nurse came and said today would be the day.  That was still shocking to hear.  My sisters got there first thing in the morning and one of our favorite aides, Selote, got there too.  She immediately brought such a beautiful and peaceful spirit into her room.  We actually quickly went over to the mortuary with my dad to pick out her casket and were only gone for 20 minutes maybe.  Right when we got back we noticed my mom seemed so much more peaceful and quiet and looked different.  We sat with her for maybe another half hour and then she just quietly slipped away.  Her friend Doris was there in the front room with my dad so we had her come in to say her very last good-byes.

Julie, her nurse

Selote took such good care of our mom
and knew everything to do to keep my mom looking her best, even in death

saying last good-bye
We are so grateful for the weekend we had with our mom. She was funny until to the end and even when we thought she was sleeping she would comment on our conversation.  We know that heaven was very near and she told us she saw many "angels" in the room and we could feel the spirit so strongly.

1 comment:

The Martin Family said...

What a beautiful post. You will be so grateful you documented this weekend. I love your family!